Reason #2,948.5 why my dog makes life difficult…

September 30, 2008 at 4:45 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 9 Comments

I would like to say that my dog Delilah discriminates against me. It may be a good form of discrimination though. So Kinsey and Keley went shopping yesterday for what I like to call naughtsome things… that’s a mix between naughty and awesome… anyway, they returned home with their brand new unmentionables. For some reason girls like to try on all of their underwear as soon as they get home and show each other. I did not happen to be home at the time but when I did get home I sat down on the couch. As soon as I sat down I see Delilah come running out of my room as if she had just robbed a bank and a pit bull cop was chasing her down. She crashed into her kennel and growled at me when I opened my mouth. This means one of one thing… Delilah did something very bad and she knows it. Anytime she does something bad she will put herself on timeout. This makes me wonder why she does the bad things in the first place because she obviously knows it’s bad.


Kinsey and Keley were in Keley’s bedroom talking about the economy and quantum physics so I decided to go in the room and look for the “Delilah Damage”. I was expecting to find some pee or perhaps a poo on the rug… heck, maybe even some chewed up toilet paper but I didn’t know if she had enough time. I ended up finding a bunch of brand new panties with the crotch missing… that’s some good lookin out Delilah. Haha.


I decided to conduct my own scientific experiment so I very nonchalantly left a pair of my underwear out to see what Delilah would do. I took her out potty, pulled out the panty particles that got stuck in her butt with a plastic bag, we came back home and I waited… nothing. I went to work and did some business and came back home… nothing. I sat her down and told her it was ok to chew up my chones too… nothing. Apparently Delilah does not want anything to do with my chones, and yes they were clean ones… I think. Now I am very hurt, Kinsey is mad, and Keley is furious. Not a good day in the “Three’s Company 2008 Edition” home.


Moral of the story: I think Delilah is a lesbian dog… or she is really into lace.




Translation for the gringos: Chones- underwear… not to be confused with chorizo, which happens to be my favorite dish to sprinkle on a tortilla or some wonderfully scrambled eggs. You do not want to sprinkle chones on your tortilla or eggs.



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  1. J-Si, my female dog chews the crotch out of my panties too. I’m not sure why or what’s behind it but your pup isn’t the only freak out there. I found one pair that looked like they had a bite taken out of them. They were fairly new and the Gap Body brand that usually last a long time and I couldn’t figure it out, but I never saw the dog with them so I had no idea what happened….maybe the washer mauled them?? Then a week or so ago I saw my son carrying a pair of panties to the laundry room that he’d taken from the dog. I didn’t inspect them until I went to put them on a few days later and there was no crotch left at all. Chewed all the way through them. I was nodding in agreement with my radio this morning as you told this story!

  2. you stated the girls like to try on their undies when they returned home ??? That is why the dog did what she did, their scent was on the crotch of the panties- don’t blame the dog……….

  3. That’s how it’s spelled? We always spelled it chonies. LOL. My dogs eat my husbands chonies. I can send one over if you need to feel better!

  4. So funny! You definitely have a way with words. I can always count on you when I need a good laugh! Thanks!!!

  5. Yeah, one of my dogs does that too. She eats my bras too. Its super awsome! only not. Doesn’t do it to any one else’s in my house, so yeah. I guess I should feel special that I gotta spend like fourty bucks a month on buying new underware.

  6. I’ve had a boy and girl dog both chew the crotches of my underwear out… dogs a so weird! My dog now though doesn’t do that.. she likes to eat my boyfriends socks EW

  7. Shout out!

    Well I dont have a dog and never had a dog, but I just thought I’d tell you what my 3 year old nephew calls his chones….choners! I just thought I’d tell you as I thought it was funny.


  8. Thats nasty they try them on before they wash them

  9. i use to have a chiuahuah that did the same thing she use to always chew the crotch out of my panties and one time she even chewed my jeans crotch out crazy dogs we called her patches

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