Weird times at the gas station

September 25, 2008 at 4:28 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 14 Comments

Ok, funny story time!!!! So I was on my way to the dentist yesterday but I decided to stop at the wonderful gas selling business called a gas station. Guess what?!?!? THEY ACTUALLY HAD GAS THERE!!! As I am standing there trying to look cool/hot one of those “Excuse me… can I talk to you fo a second” guys walked up to me. I had about zero desire to listen because I was in a rush so I decided to do what I do worst: I decided to think fast on my feet. Out of everything I could have done I decided to pretend to be deaf… I know that’s bad… but I really feel bad telling people to go away. As he walked towards me with his Tweedy Bird hat and see thru Night at the Roxbury shirt matched beautifully with some Jorts (jean shorts) I started makings signs to give him a hint. He stepped back and said, “Oh, you can’t hear me?” He then made the money gesture with his hand and pointed at himself while speaking slowly and saying, “Can… I… borrow… some… money?” First of all it is not called borrowing if you are never going to pay it back, but I digress. I acted like I didn’t understand. Maybe he would think I was a non English speaking deaf guy. As he tried over and over to repeat his sentence I wished for my gas to pump faster. To tell you the truth, I though he was going to punch me at any moment. Then out of the blue my phone rang. Yup, the ringer was on sitting right there on the drivers seat. That’s fine and all, but I am pretty sure a deaf person would not notice a noise and look directly at the source of which the noise is coming from.

 

 Luckily the dude didn’t catch that… but then for some reason… I grabbed the stupid phone and silenced it. I couldn’t help it. It was as if my hand was a magnet to the phone. He looked at me in dismay dropped his arms to his sides and said, “Daing, you ain’t even blind…” Oh, did I write down that he “said” that? I meant to say he yelled, “Daing, you ain’t even blind!!!!!!” The dude at the other pump looked over at us and shook his head at me. Then “Can I talk to you fo a minute” guy, also known as CITTYFAM guy, looked at me again and said, “I can’t believe you tried to act like a blind man… you just have to say no and I walk away. You ain’t blind.” I then replied with, “I know… I was supposed to be deaf.” He then started laughing uncontrollably… so then I started laughing, but not for reals, it was more of an awkward laugh because I though he was going to stab me, so I didn’t want him to feel stupid. So after my gas was fully pumped and I listened to him laugh for 3 minutes I bought him a hot dog inside the gas station. He then asked me for a ride to his “baby mamas” house… I declined, but did not act deaf and/or blind this time.

 

Moral of the Story: Keep your gas tank half full at all times so you don’t have to spend 5 minutes with weird guys at the gas station.

 

WORD!!!!

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14 Comments »

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  1. LOL!LOL!LOL! Omg that was too funny…I guess it didnt cross his mind that if you were blind you wouldnt be putting gas in your car…Cause if your blind you CANT DRIVE!! That was HIlarious though!

  2. Oh JC…you brought tears to my eyes with that one…I’m sure everyone at work thinks I’m crazy now! thanks for making my day a little funnier…

  3. WTF?!?! Hilarity. Good looking out with the hot dog man!

  4. WTF!! That is the best freakin story EVER!!!

  5. OMG!! That is so funny- Thanks for the laugh.

  6. LOVE IT! I WANT U TO DO THAT EVERYTIME!!

  7. That was so funny! I love your blogs! Keep it up!

  8. lo repito mil veces, estas totalmente fuera de serie!!! you had me laughing soooo hard!!! Now everyone @ work thinks I’m crazy!! Why is it that these weird things happen to you?! You are tooooo much!!! I LOVE LOVE reading your blogs.

  9. Oh my gosh that was so funny! My husband and I could not stop laughing. Your blogs are so entertaining and we love reading them…

  10. I am a first time poster, but I have to tell you that you really make my day everyday with your stories and reading your blogs. Reading your blog this morning literally made me LOL. Thanks for all you do and I am so glad Kid Kraddick in the morning has replaced the other morning show we had in my area 🙂

  11. J Si: You are too funny. You have a very vivid imagination. You make me laugh.

  12. You crack me up – I had to laugh out loud when I read about the “jorts” – I thought my children had made up that word!

  13. OMG, J-Si! this has to be the funniest thing I have ever read! I just love reading your blog, always puts a smile on my face.. thanks for the laugh!

  14. O-M-G that was possibly one of the funniest things I have read all week!!!!!! You always make my day, keep it up!


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