OUCH!!!!!

November 29, 2007 at 5:04 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 9 Comments

Hi!!!! I am in sooo much pain today. I know I am not old yet but I definitely feel the toll of getting older. After playing my football game yesterday I was hurting everywhere. Both my hands are hurt, I got a nasty dead leg which makes it impossible to move my right leg, my left shoulder is in pain, and my back is tender. I want a wheelchair for Christmas. Haha. My game was a bit late last night and I ended up not going to sleep until 1 am because my body was still in “let’s have fun mode”. I also took a pill for the pain in my leg… not very smart. Next thing I know my phone is ringing and Shanon is asking where I am. Don’t worry, I made it to work 5 minutes before we went on air. I hate that feeling when you wake up late. I think I may have peed my pants. Haha.

 

I am pretty excited because I get to go to one of the biggest football games of the season tonight. Yup, my boy Paul came through again. Too bad I am going to be limping around like a moron. It should be all good in the hood though. I would find another way to embarrass myself if it wasn’t for the limping.

 

Speaking of embarrassing moments, I was having dinner with two friends last night and they got on the subject of the two minute warning. I could not stop laughing because A. my brain is 5 years old, and B. it’s so darn true. Let me break down the two minute warning: it comes one when you really have to go to the bathroom number two style and your body can’t hold it any longer but you manage to somehow suppress it. Then you get to the point where your body knows you are near a bathroom and gives you the two minute warning which means that if you are not in the bathroom by that time you may want to invest in some new pants. Think about it… it’s true, your body does have that weird “I know you are two minutes away and that’s all the time I will give you” clock. One of my friends then told me about how he had about 30 seconds left on his clock and as he was approaching his apartment with the penguin wobble his neighbor started to talk to him… he didn’t want to be rude so he listened and unfortunately his clock expired right there in the hallway in front of his hot neighbor. Tragic… sorry I was wiping the tear of laughter off my face. Haha. Sorry for the bathroom talk but sometimes you gotta keep it real for the homies.

 

WORD!!!

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RIP Sean Taylor….

November 28, 2007 at 3:40 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 5 Comments

Man… It has been a full day but for some reason I am still floored about the death of Sean Taylor. I never talked to him, never had contact with him… pretty much never met or seen the guy in person. For some reason it gave me a bad feeling all day. Here is a very successful guy who is my age and with everything to live for. Then I have to watch TV and hear some people talk about how much trouble the man has been in. So he made mistakes, big deal. Yes he had a DUI… he learned from that. He brandished a gun to some punks who stole is off road toys… I would be pretty ticked off too, sometimes you lose your cool, but he learned from that. The guy was sleeping at home with his girlfriend and his little girl. He didn’t have a gun in the house because he learned from his earlier mistake. The man is dead and people still proceed to chastise him. It makes me sick to my stomach when I hear a report talking about how much of a trouble maker he was… key word is “was”. I guess some people would rather target the negative than the countless hours he spent helping children and schools. I am not a Redskins fan. However, I am a Sean Taylor fan. I have watched that guy play since he played at Miami, I watched him get drafted, and I watched him in the pros. There are very few players who do that to me and don’t play for my Chargers… It’s just weird how people we have never met make an impact on us when they are gone. Ok, I am done venting. I just ask for a prayer for Sean Taylor’s family and little girl : )

 

In other news: is it possible for dogs to become un-potty trained? I could have sworn that we had Delilah all potty trained before the Thanksgiving holyday. After picking her up from the vet where she was boarded during the weekend because she has tons of fun taking her cast off, she decided that the first thing she would do is pee on the carpet and then stroll out to the living room and drop the food she had eaten earlier and digested onto my floor… all this happening while she is looking right into my eyes and saying, “that’s what you get for leaving me at the vet.” So then I said, “if you weren’t so clumsy you wouldn’t have broken your arm.” Then she came back with, “you’re clumsy and stupid”, so I told her, “you are stupid and clumsy and you eat your own poop.” That ended the argument. Yup, I won an argument with my dog. That’s how I roll.

 

WORD!!!!

Road trips rule!!!!

November 26, 2007 at 4:05 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 4 Comments

Hey, hey, hey!!! Hope you had a great Thanksgiving. Kinsey and I sure did. We went down to Houston to visit her grandma and her aunt. Big difference from last year because it was the first time we spent the holidays away from family but this year we realized, “hey, we have family just a few hours away.” So we got in my car and drove down. You know what sucks? The fact that Kinsey sleeps through the whole trip and makes me play the Britney Spears CD. Yup I am driving by myself jamming out to Britney… NOT GAY!!! Not gay at all. What made it worse was when I would try to turn it off and she would act like she was actually listening to it. Oh, and you know what else sucks? Her aunt had a really comfortable bed, so comfortable that we decided to stay an extra night. I decided to see if there was any possible way to steal it, but there was no way… maybe if I still had my green lighting truck I could have. Haha. Kinsey’s grandma has a cool dog… unfortunately he didn’t like me. I spent two days trying to pet the dog but he ran away from me every time. Finally I got him in a corner and I petted him… he bit me : ) I would have kicked him, but he would have bit me again. It would have turned into a nasty kicking biting fight… and I would have definitely lost. Why do I have to be accepted by everything that breathes? You should see me trying to befriend plants. I do most of the talking.

 

Anyways, while driving back on Friday I noticed a cabriolet on the side of the highway in the middle of nowhere. I decide to see what the atmosphere was like so I decided to give it a little look-see. The establishment was a tad bit small, but big enough to have two stages… both appeared to be hand built and had poles, very, very wobbly poles. There were Budweiser posters everywhere, and a ton of NASCAR pictures. There were only about 8 people in there and about 5 girls roaming, well 6 if you want to count Kinsey in, jk. I am sure the girls were very nice people, but I felt very awkward so we left with a brand new love for having teeth.

 

Now to tell you about the weirdest visit to my friend’s house ever: My friend just moved into a new place so he has boxes everywhere. Yesterday I went to his house and saw a VHS video sitting out. The title of it was “Top Secret: Gassy”. I naturally became curious and wanted to watch it… he was very adamant about me not watching it. After ten minutes of asking and making sure it wasn’t an adult video, and after the ladies went outside for a bit he told me that he didn’t want to show the video because had video taped himself passing gas and didn’t want the girls to think he was weird. He said he did it because he wondered what it looked like… That deserves an lol with a mixture of ewwww!!! I laughed for 3 hours straight… and no I didn’t watch it… yet… JK!!! Gross!!

  

WORD!!!

Guess who’s back… back again? J-Si’s back, tell a friend…

November 20, 2007 at 5:08 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 6 Comments

Hello!!! I am back and tired, BUT I had a blast. Not sure if you heard of some of our antics during the show yesterday. At this moment I would like to tell you a fun story about Big Al Mac. So we took a little trip to Downtown Disney on Saturday. It gives us time to wind down. Al is the type of guy who likes to talk to everyone… by everyone I mean every girl. He just likes to meet new people. Unfortunately he decided to meet some girls that had guys with them. Were they ticked off when Al said hi? Yes. Did Al care? No. Haha. As the girls walked past us Al decided to jump in front of the girl because that’s how he rolls. He was flappin his arms up and down with a big goofy smile squatting and yelling “HEY!!!! HEY!!!! HEY!!!!!” over and over. At this point the girls were by themselves. Out of nowhere a dude comes out and gets between Al and the girl and says “that’s my girl.” Al decided this was a good time to look my way and yell “J-Si” in a high pitched voice. So I went over there and kicked the guy and then went and danced on the dance floor. YAY! Ok, it didn’t happen quite like that but the guy did get mad and our friend Derrick had to intervene. Here is the thing… Derrick is about 5’6, 155lbs compared to Al and his tall and buff stature. Also, Derrick may like listening to Celine Dion more than the average man… hahaha. It was greatness.

 

Other than that, I spent most of my time at the park with kids. Let me tell you that kids will be kids and luckily I act like one so I fit in much better than the “grown ups” on the trip. But even after having spent so much time with them I realized this morning that I miss little five year old Matthew hanging off my arm like an orangutan, calling me doo doo head, and telling me about the time he farted in the tub and poop accidentally came out for twelve hours a day four days straight. He did clean up the tub though. Oh, and he is just one of the triplets, yes… there are two more. Haha. Oh, great times.

 

Unfortunately, the trip is not all good times. There are jerks out there… even at Disney world. A lady had the audacity to open her big mouth because the bus driver was taking too long loading a wheel chair. She said “oh great, this is going to take another 15 minutes.” She then walked up to the bus driver who was right next to the parents and decided to tell the bus driver to hurry it up. The bus driver stopped what he was doing, looked the woman in the eye, and softly said, “he can’t walk… you can… ma’am.” He turned around and kept on working. The lady then walked off looking and feeling (I imagine) completely stupid. In your face stupid ignorant lady!!! Don’t even get me started on the stupid security guard at the airport. The Southwest people were so nice to us and then the stupid airport employee was completely the opposite. They may have to take Southwest Airlines classes on how to be awesome. He would not allow our group to cross the check point at the airport. He said he could not let us through because we didn’t have boarding passes. So I told him we had a private plane. He than said “I don’t care.” One of the Southwest employees stepped in because she saw me getting upset, and he was a jerk to her too. I said “oh heck to the nooooo!!!” (there were kids around) so I walked up to him and told him this: “look, we have a private plane for chronically and terminally ill children and their families who just had the time of their lives and here you are giving them attitude and being a jerk… ACT PROFESSIONAL!!! Its people like you that make lives tough for these families.” He then tried to get tough again and I just kept telling him to “act professional”. He promptly apologized, but his supervisor definitely pulled him aside and had someone take his spot. We then got through and had some more fun. Sometimes you need to step up to the bullies who think they have tons of power when in fact they didn’t listen to directions.

  

WORD!!!!

I’m going to Disneyworld!!!!!!

November 15, 2007 at 4:08 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 9 Comments

Hello!!!! I finally packed. Haha. I waited until the last minute. I threw in some jeans, some shorts, some shirts, and some undergarments (boxer briefs and socks if you were wondering). So today we go off to Disneyworld with a bunch of kids who will jump on me, poke me, pull me, and kick me in the shins. You know what though? I love it. I love to see these kids who have to act so grown up loosen up and act their age… heck, I still jump on, poke, pull, and kick people. Haha. I like this time of year because I get slapped right back into reality. I can start feeling Christmas : )

 

Now for the bad news… I am not leaving the show. Haha. Well, its bad news to someone out there. Even worse news: My Wednesday night football team lost too. It’s always awesome when a dude walks up to you after the game and says, “I better hear about it on the show.” I will not embarrass myself on the air but I am down to do it in my blog… that’s how I roll. Bad news number three: I will not get my money from my card being stolen until probably after Christmas… YAY!!!!

 

Oh, and before I leave I have to let you know about the investment I made yesterday… (drum roll time)… I bought the perfect push-up handles. Why would I want to make my arms any bigger than they already are? How much more chiseled can my chest get? How could I possible put any more muscle on my huge shoulders? Easy answer… apparently Kinsey thinks it’s possible because she told Kidd to get me back in the gym. You better know what I did when I found out… yup… I kicked her… I kicked her right on the wrist, not the right wrist, it was the left… RIGHT ON!!!! : )

   

WORD!!!!!

 

 

Oh, and bye Tay Tay, we will miss you!!!!!

How to annoy your significant other… by me, JC (that rhymes and rocks)

November 13, 2007 at 4:55 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 10 Comments

Crazy day huh? We leave for Orlando in two days and I have not even begun to think about packing. I hate traveling because when I come home my clothes sit in the suit case for weeks or until Kinsey kicks me and tells me to put them away. Maybe I will get the case out of the closet today and think about packing.

 

Man, this whole Kanye West losing his mom thing has really blown my mind. Luckily he seems like a man who never took his mother for granted. I was listening to his song about his mom (its called “Hey Mama”) and I started to feel some tears coming up. The lyrics he wrote show love and that is something you don’t seem to find in hip hop very often. So I started thinking of when I almost lost my mom. Its crazy how one second they are right next to you and the very next day they are in the hospital for two weeks. Unlike Kanye, I believe I have taken my mom for granted throughout my life. I know I am not the only one who has done this. So I have decided that when I become a famous rapper/producer, I will let me mom be my manager. Congrats mom… even though that will most likely not happen in this lifetime due to my lack of… how do I say this… street cred, lyrics, beat making abilities…. List is endless : )

 

On a side note; I want to call myself out before someone else does. Yes, I do carry a laptop bag with me every day. No, I do not own a laptop, but it does make me feel more official and grown up. I should kick myself for being suck a dork. Oh, well. I will continue to do this until I actually buy a laptop which will probably be in the near never. I did have one but it was in a tragic mail delivery accident and passed away and I can’t move on… (tear).

 

Boy I was random today

 

Your mom is random

 

Shut up J-Si

 

You shut up!

 

Oh, this reminds me. If you want to really tick your girlfriend or boyfriend off just say “your mom…” after every sentence. For example:

 

Kinsey: JC, clean the kitchen

 

J-Zizzle: your mom cleans the kitchen.

 

Kinsey: you are so annoying

 

J-Zizzle: your mom is so annoying.

 

ROTFLMAO just thinking about it. Caution: Guys, your girl may become annoyed and punch you in the manhood. Girls, your man may become annoyed and punch your boob.

Crazy weekend for your reading pleasure….

November 12, 2007 at 3:29 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 17 Comments

 Kinsey and I were invited to a black tie event on Saturday. I didn’t know it was black tie until we checked the website on Friday. So on Saturday we started looking for a tux to rent for me. That didn’t work. So we looked for a suit to rent. That didn’t work. Kinsey then wanted me to buy a suit. That’s not happening. If I am buying a suit I am getting a suit that fits me just right. So I told Kinsey that we should just stay back and relax… I guess she thought I said I would stay home and relax so she went out. I ended up staying home by myself listening to Celine Dion’s “All By Myself” : (

That same night Kinsey and her friends went out after the “Ball”. They ended up going to the gayberhood club right near our house. Well, I got a call at 1:30 in the morning from Kinsey and she was clearly shaken. Apparently a guy decided to pull his pants down and start dancing in front of Kinsey and her friends. Oh, did I mention he wasn’t wearing underwear? I was ticked off and was about to go down there but realized that it wasn’t worth it since he would be gone by the time I got there. The nerve of that “A” hole; seriously, who pulls their pants down in front of girls he doesn’t know? But guess what? After he did that the people in the parking lot started making fun of him… now why would people make fun of a guy with his “Private Ryan” out unless he… oh, yup. Hey, it may have been cold out there. I guess he was no Ron Jeremy, so I kicked him even though I was not at the scene, I have long legs… I should be a model. I know… Random huh? Haha.

Cue up the WWE music: Yesterday we went to a bar to watch the cowboys and giants play because the Chargers were playing right after against the Colts. We were having a good time until the couple next to us started arguing. It was one of those that began with a little whisper fighting and then turned into an “I effin hate you!!!” and the good old “What is your freaking problem” fight. Well, one thing lead to another and the girl ended up throwing a handful of what I believe to be marinara/pizza sauce all over her boyfriend… unfortunately she doesn’t aim very well because half landed on her boyfriend and half landed on my $300 dollar Chargers jersey. I turned around as the girl walked by and said “who threw that?” the guy answered “my girlfriend.” So I told him that it got all over me and that he would need to get my jersey dry cleaned. He then said “I don’t give a f***, you b****,” some more words were exchanged and he almost got a whoop down. The guy was in his late forties, about 5’7”, weighed in around 133 lbs, was wasted out of his mind, and went by the name “Rowdy”… haha who goes by the name Rowdy at that age? I bet you his name is Gilbert and feels Rowdy sound cool and tough.  Luckily the bar handled it very well and by very well I mean they gave us a free bucket of beer.

On a sad note: I know I get my regular readers coming to my blog lately and I just want to take this time to thank you for everything and wanted you to be the first to know. As you may have heard, one of us is leaving the show and unfortunately that person happens to be me. Sometimes you have to take what you have learned and move onto other experiences and I feel that my time is now. Good news: You can win a prize because of this. Bad news: I am leaving… unless you wanted me to leave… in that case CONGRATS!!! Haha : )

  

WORD!!!!

 

Oh, and our flag football team started up again and…. (drum roll)…. we won one and lost one. YAY!!! We got next week off because they are doing a tournament. If you want in or know someone who wants to play in the league against our powerhouse of a team go to www.4on4flagfootball.com. We are on the Saturday morning league. The dude who runs the league is named Dennis. Cool guy. Email me if you have questions.

My face got in a fight with a fist

November 8, 2007 at 3:15 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 7 Comments

Howdy!!! Yesterday was a pretty cool day. I went to a senior citizen center… well, is it a senior citizen center if they allow people 50 and up? People who are 50 years old are not technically seniors. Yeah, let that marinate big time in the brain. Anyways, I had a blast. I met a few really neat neat people (that’s code for cool people over the age of 70). Someday I hope to be a neat neat man… or I would like to be the crazy old man with 20 Chihuahuas. The crazy dog or cat person is cool with me. Haha.

 

After my fun times I went home to “simma down nah” before my football game. I got all rested and ready, I drove up to the field. I was happy and anxious. These guys are new to me so I get a bit nervous because I like to talk a big game. Luckily Don Gay is on the team so that eases me up a bit, but the rest of the guys are all new friends to me. The second week is always crucial to fit in with a football team, probably just as crucial as the first. Luckily I had a great game last week, so if I could score a touchdown every week I would be happy. Let me transport you to the very first play of the game… enter cool transporting music… (VERY NICE!!!). We are playing defense and the play starts, a guy catches the ball and gets his flag pulled about 10 yards from me, but he decided to keep running towards me, so I stick my arms out to slow him down… he then decided it would be a good idea to introduce his fist to my face… for no reason. Just a quick little jab. I immediately knew my nose would start bleeding, and seeing little pieces of tooth come out of my mouth was not fun. I looked up at the dude and was flabbergasted, and then one of my team mates came up and asked if I was ok. But this time my eyes had started watering, unfortunately that’s what happens when you get hit in the nose, and the blood started coming out. I had to take a couple of plays off; His excuse for “accidentally” throwing a jab? “It’s football”, my excuse for “accidentally” kicking him? None, it didn’t happen. So when we went onto the field I promptly caught a touchdown. In your face “accidental” punch throwing guy!!!

 

Good news: We won… Bad news: my nose hurts. Luckily I don’t see any signs of a black eye. Oh, and I think Don Gay told me this league is a church league… that punch was not very God like. Haha.

 

WORD!!!!

Random thoughts…

November 6, 2007 at 4:25 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 12 Comments

I have a couple of thoughts in my head. As I drank my milk yesterday during dinner I wondered to myself: “who thought it would be a good idea to pull on those pink dangly things from a cow?” Isn’t it weird? Why don’t we just milk humans and drink human milk? So I went online to try and find some answers… I found none, but I did find a list of things to wonder about while sitting on your couch staring at your ceiling even though I should have been in the gym working on my lazy butt:

 
1.
Who was the first person to say, “See that chicken there… I’m gonna eat
the next thing that comes outta its bum.”

2. Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a
horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
3. Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

4. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don’t point
to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?

5. Why does your Obstetrician, Gynecologist leave the room when you get
undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

6. Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream?

7. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? (Is it testical?)

8. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables,
then what is baby oil made from?

9. Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

10. Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad at you,
but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

11. Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster? Crazy stuff huh? I also realized something about myself. I carry around a laptop case to make myself look official. Yup that is my feeble attempt at appearing like a grown up. I don’t own a laptop, but I do have a bag for it. Does that make me crazy? Haha. I guess I could just use a normal bag or a backpack.  

In good news… I purchased my tickets to go back home from Christmas. I am so excited to see my family and friends. It feels like forever since I last saw them. It really does get lonely when you live away from your family and only get to see them twice a year. Hopefully Thanksgiving will be a lot easier on Kinsey and me this year. It just doesn’t feel the same without the family.

Birds deserve to be kicked too

November 5, 2007 at 4:36 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Hey!!! For some reason my blog didn’t post on Friday so I will try this again… HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM (even though it was Friday and my blog didn’t post)!!!! Don’t worry I did call her : )

 

Back to the grind… let me tell you a story about a stupid thing that ruined my day. Weather outside is pretty pretty good so I left the balcony door open while I took a nap. I wake up to both of my dogs barking up a storm and running around the house as if there is a fire lit on their butt. I wake up and let my heart start beating again before I stand up. As I stood up I feel a bunch of air pass over my head. Yup, I was almost nailed in the head by a bird… inside my house. The stupid thing is flying into walls and cabinets, my dogs are barking, and I am tripping all over myself. Here is the thing: I only have four drinking glasses at home and one was sitting out. I guess the stupid bird had been scouting my house because he flew straight to my counter, flung around like a moron and knocked one of my glasses off and where it gently landed on the floor shattering into little pieces. Now I have to worry about Delilah eating glass (she eats her own poo sometimes so I am sure she would give glass a try), I have to worry about stepping on glass, and I have a rabid bird in my house. One hour, one noise complaint, one broken glass, two crazed dogs, and one bird poop taken the bird found its way out compliments of my broom. If I could have I would have kicked it.

 

I did have some fun this weekend though. I went and had dinner at Shanon’s house. Her mom made fajitas (her mom knows I am Mexican and she was trying to make me feel at home), and they gave me a package of donuts. All and all a good Saturday night except when Kinsey and I went to the club and I ordered drinks only to realize that my card was missing. Kinsey had to go home and get money out to cover for my crappy luck. Turns out I lost the card the night before at the Blue October concert. So how much damage could one do in 24 hours? Answer is: about $1,200 worth. OUCH!!!! It’s all good; I will get it back… eventually. Let’s just say I am happy this weekend is over.

 

I am a believer in karma so whatever I did to deserve this makes me wish one thing… I hope it was fun.

 

WORD!!!!

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