Happy Halloween!!!!

October 31, 2007 at 3:13 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 6 Comments

Halloween is here!!! Actually, doesn’t it feel a bit anti-climatic this year? I feel like Halloween has been over for almost a week because I celebrated early. Usually TV is full of Halloween stuff leading up to the day but this year I didn’t see as much. Is it just me? I hope you have noticed this as well. Halloween has turned into that cool dude in high school who has progressively gotten less and less popular with age. It used to be my favorite time of the year because of the dressing up and the candy but now its just a “who can dress the hoochiest” fest… Yes, I am fully aware that “hoochiest” is not a word… this means “hoochiest” is today’s made up word of the day!!!! YAY!!!!!!

 

You know how when your girlfriend or boyfriend buys you something you start getting paranoid? Haha. Weird huh? Kinsey hates video games but knows I love them so yesterday she bought me Guitar Hero 3. How cool is that? At first I started thinking… “Ok, what did you do?” She just said she wanted to thank me for everything I have done for her and that was a little way to thank me. This brought this thought to my head: I would like to get thanked at least once a week : ) Let me just tell you how cool this game is though. I have wanted to be in a band playing guitar for a while now and last night I was in my living room in a skirt rocking out. I had to wear a skirt to make sure it fit because we are doing something for the show today. Yes, Al and I have to dress up like chicks. To top it off, the notes I hit actually sound good. I can only play on easy though. Ha, that’s a funny picture: JC playing easy with a skirt on… Gross.

 

Let me bring up a little “someone kept me from sleeping” story. My apartment faces the street and I will occasionally be kept up by some drunk guys coming back from the club, or two guys having a relationship fight… So last night around 11pm I was awakened by two loud voices coming from the street. They kept getting louder and louder, laughing, coughing, talking, having a great old time. Meanwhile I am in my bed tossing, turning, and cursing them. I have this fear of yelling at the wrong person at the wrong time and having them shoot me… I know, weird huh? I decided to take the risk. So I walked to my window, and hid behind the wall to cover my body so they could not tell where the “Shut your mouth” comment came from. As I peeked out of my window I realized that the two “drunks” were two police officers in their cars chatting up a storm. I decided to still tell them to shut up. I immediately felt bad for telling two police officers who put their lives on the line every shift. Apparently they didn’t feel very bad because they kept on chatting the night away. So I looked out my window and again gave them a loud “SHHHHHH!!!” So you know what they did? They came up to my apartment and kicked me. Haha.

 

For you Halloweenies out there, here is a list to let ya know if you are a bit too old to go get some candy:

 You know you are too old to Trick or Treat when:10. You get winded from knocking on the door.

9. You have to have another kid chew the candy for you.

8. You ask for high fiber candy only.

7. When someone drops a candy bar in your bag, you lose your balance
and fall over.

6. People say: “Oh, Freddy Krueger!!! Nice!” And you’re not wearing a mask.

5. When the door opens you yell, “Trick or …”, and can’t remember the rest.

4. By the end of the night, you have a bag full of restraining orders.

3. You have to carefully choose a costume that won’t dislodge your hairpiece.

2. You’re the only Power Ranger in the neighborhood with a walker.

And the number one sign you might be too old to go Trick or Treating…

1. You keep having to go home to pee.

  

WORD!!!!

 

4:30 am street dance fight….

October 30, 2007 at 4:18 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments

Let me get this going with a little story about a weird guy (me) and an even weirder guy (the dude). So I decided to go to the gas station solely on the desire not to run out of gas and have to push my car like I have done many times in my life. It is a great workout though. Anyway, I swipe my card at the pump and… nothing. I swipe again and the screen reads “please see attendant”. I guess that’s what happens when you go to 7 eleven because gas there is one cent cheaper than at the gas station across the street.

 

Oh, have I mentioned that it is about 4:30 am? Well now I have. As I start walking into the store I notice a homeless guy (the dude) walk around from the back of the store towards me. I did what any normal person would do at 4:30 in the morning… I walked faster.

 

I figured the guy would just leave so I took my time. After paying for my gas I went outside to pump and yes the dude was chillin by my car just leaning on it. As soon as I walked out of the store I heard him saying “hey man, can I ask you a question,” I told him I had no money on me and tried to ignore him and went on to pump my gas… well, the pump didn’t want to work with me. No pumpage was going on. So I had to go back inside the store. I figured the guy would just leave.

 

As I walked back out to my car I noticed that my light inside my car was on. I had my door closed so the closer I walked the more I realized that “the dude” had opened my passenger side door and was doing a little coin hunting in my cup holder. Luckily J-Zizzle is broke and I only had a couple of pennies. I jogged over to my car and yelled, “Hey, what are you doing?!?!?!” He then popped his head out and asked me, “Do you have some spare change man?” I said “what the hell are you doing opening up my car?” He then said, “oh, I met you before… remember me? We talked last week; it’s me Daryl, the deaf guy!!!” He had a huge smile on his face. At that moment I realized that this man was… crazy. He was clearly not deaf and he had the cajones to open my car and go in it. Keep in mind that there is nobody around. Luckily I just told him to get out of my car. I was waiting for him to come and try to start something. So I ran to my car and put on “Wannabe Starting Something” by Michael Jackson and it was on. We had a dance battle right there. Unfortunately I lost… we had another homeless dude judge so I think his vote was very biased. So I kicked him. That’s a crappy way to start the day.

 

WORD!!!!

 

Note: everything in this blog is true… except the dance contest and the kicking that supposedly went on.

 

Here are some pictures from the Halloween party Al and I went to. I would post mine but my camera is still broken… Thanks Kinsey : )

 

 

 

 

Kinsey in her Eskiho costume:

 

 

 

 

kins.jpg

 

JC in his not David Beckham dressed as a stupid doctor with a plastic chainsaw costume:

 

jcd.jpg

 

 

My plans always fail…

October 29, 2007 at 3:50 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Welcome to “we are almost to Christmas but not really” day. Let me take you back to Friday. I was all set to go to the Halloween party as a very hilarious David Beckham. I had the crutches (he always gets hurt), and my fake bling bling (he has a 500 million dollar contract. I had the socks, the haircut, the shoes, and the shorts. All I needed was the jersey to make it complete. I drove to the mall… no luck. I drove to a sports store… no luck. I drove to another mall… no luck. I ended up driving around aimlessly for about 4 hours. I wish I could tell you I was kidding, but I am afraid it really happened. So what did I go as? A stupid boring doctor. Luckily I found a fake chainsaw at Walgreen’s that vibrated and made noise for only 9 dollars. It made no sense but at least I had a prop.

 

Kinsey on the other hand her outfit ready because she made it herself. She did run into some horrible obstacles: 1) using a glue gun and 2) her skin. Kinsey and her friend Crystal decided to glue part of their costume while it was on them to make sure it looked “cute” and “tight”. This was not a very good idea because Kinsey burned herself not once, not twice, not three times… FOUR times!!! I am talking about blister causing burns. Also with the burn came hot glue stuck on her hand which in turn ripped her skin right off. Her finger looks like Freddy Krueger’s face and her ankle did not fair much better. She was a trooper though. She had some tears in her eyes but it was brought to her attention that she looked cute so she got right up and we headed to the party where we saw dressed up as “ghetto man”. There is nothing ghetto about a man in a bra, red wig, and weird stripper boots. It brought a great laugh though.

 

At the party we almost ended up having a bit of an altercation. I was standing next to a table talking to some friends when all of a sudden a girl pushes me. I had been standing there for a few minutes and had not done anything to warrant a push so I looked at the girl with the, “what in the world was that?” look. She pushed me again. By this time Kinsey had come over and asked the girl what her problem was after pushing her out of the way. Apparently her friends wanted to take a picture and the only place in this restaurant where she could stand was where I was standing at the moment. Everything got settled down because a dude walked right over to the girl and said “do you know who he is?” She answered by saying “an a-hole?” So the dude said “no, that’s JC from the radio.” This had embarrassing written all over it because she could have just said, “who cares.” Fortunately she was a listener and rushed over to apologize. It is a bit of a bittersweet apology because if I was not on the radio she would have just been a “b” and moved right ahead with her night. But just because she happens to listen to the radio show I am on made her apologize. So you know what I did? I kicked her… haha, you know me and my kicking jokes. The rest of the time I was there she kept telling me how much she loves the show and how she listens all the time.

 

Chargers won!!! Unfortunately I missed the last quarter because I ate a bad piece of chicken and did not feel well. So Kinsey and I went home and I took a Tylenol. I guess I didn’t take the right pill because Kinsey came in and told me I took a sleeping pill with codeine. I was passed out cold by 7pm. I missed the World Series, I missed my Court TV shows, and I missed NFL primetime on ESPN. I did get a full night sleep though : )

$118 or $18? That is the question…

October 25, 2007 at 4:29 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment

Hellooooooooo! Back and ready to attack for a big mack, and please don’t smack or do crack… thank you. That was your rhyme to get you going. Now if you would please stand up and do it right now that would be greatly appreciated. Halloween costume update: It’s between David Beckham with a crutch (because he is always hurt…. Haha, get it? No? Oh, my bad) or a bad a$$ 80’s rocker with tattoos. Feel free to help a brotha out:

 
 
 
 
  What should J-Si be for Halloween
 

 
 

 

 

 
  brokedown David Beckham
Bad a$$ 80’s rockstar
Stupid “sexy” eskimo

 

 
 
  View Results
 
 
 

 

  Make your own poll
   

Embarrassing moment alert!!!! Yesterday Kinsey and I had a moment together after I got back from doing my take this job and shove it. I wanted to take a nap and she wanted to hang out so I decided to hang with the lady, wah wah wee wah, VERY NICE! We decided to go walk around the mall and then go off to have an early dinner. I was feeling some Chinese food and since we visited a mall we had never been to we had no idea where any good Chinese restaurants were. By this time it was pretty much rush hour and getting lost did not help my lack of sleep so I started to eat my fingers… just kidding. You know when you start getting really moody? That was me. However, I didn’t want to take it out on Kinsey so I decided to take it out by rappin some Eminem. Unfortunately Kinsey can’t concentrate with super loud music. So one of us had to give it up… due to being a dude… it was naturally me. We finally saw a nice little Thai restaurant which did not look very expensive. So we parked the car, hopped out, smelled the deliciousness from outside and opened the door.

 

The difference from the outside to what was going on inside was very deceiving. Outside the restaurant gave the “come eat here because our food is not very expensive.” Inside there were nice tables, cloth tablecloths, waterfalls, nice carpet, pictures with gold trims, and countless of people in suits and dresses. Oh, did I forget to mention that Kinsey and I were slobbin it up? Yup. Here is how our experience went. We walked in, made eye contact with the hostess, looked around, took one step forward, turned around, and walked out. As we were getting into Kinsey’s car I told her the hostess was running out so she gunned it as if we had just stolen something. The hostess wasn’t coming out, but its nice to know that if we ever rob a bank Kinsey would be a great get away driver : )

 

Embarrassing moment #2: went to a store that rhymes with Strom and starts with Nords. Haha. Anyway, I found an awesome shirt for cheap. It was 18 bucks; now that’s a deal right there because shirts at that store never run for less than 30 dollars. So I walk up to the cash register and place my new found treasure in front of the dude. He picks it up and rings me up and gives me my total… $120 something dollars. What just happened? So I ask the guy, “why is it so much? It’s an 18 dollar shirt.” He then politely pulls the tag up to my face and says, “Sir the shirt is $118.” Don’t worry he did not have a British accent, but my face did turn all sorts of red and pink and possibly even purple. I then squirmed and pretended to look for my card and said “oh crap, I left my card in my car… I will be right back; can you hold it for me?” He said sure, so I grabbed Kinsey and told her we needed to leave immediately. I never came back : ( I am stupid; those damn numbers blend in together.

  

WORD!!!!

Could I get anyomre random today? Answer is yes, but I digress….

October 24, 2007 at 3:49 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 7 Comments

I will say that I am officially infatuated and obsessed with watching the California fires on TV. I tried to go to sleep early last night only to find myself flipping back and forth from CNN to MSNBC. I finally had to call it quits when I noticed myself watching Geraldo at about 1am. I must say that I was hypnotized by his moustache. It just reached out from the TV and grabbed my ears. I blame you Geraldo Rivera for my lack of sleep. Good news is that even though people are still to evacuating, the fires are starting to slow down. This means the firefighters can finally start containing the flames… YAY!!! My parents still were not evacuated and that is my number one worry. For your pleasure here is Geraldo and his moustache… moment of silence please…..

 

 

And we are back. This situation got me playing the wonderful game of “what if”… it wasn’t much of a game due to the fact that I was playing by myself. Have you ever just sat on your couch wondering how life would be different if it you had made one little decision differently? What if my parents had not moved further north? They would have lost everything in a fire this year. What if I didn’t get into radio? I would probably be a billionaire… ok, not really. What if my family had not moved to San Diego when I was young? I would have never had the opportunity to taste wannabe Mexican food. What if Delilah had not gotten Parvo or broken her arm? I would still have money. Haha. What if I would have gone to school in Arizona instead of staying home? I would have never met Kinsey… Weird huh? Sometimes I wanna see how much more of a mess my life would be if I didn’t make some decisions. Oh, let me get off tangent real quick. I read an article about some scientist who said time travel is possible, but (yes there is a but) you have to travel super duper fast… that’s what I use when I don’t know the massive amount of something. Unfortunately, he says that even though you can travel into the future… you can’t travel back in time. So my plot to travel into the future and then back to win the lottery has been shattered. DAING IT!!!

Halloween Update: I still don’t know what the heck I am going to dress myself as.

Halloween Update 2: I am screwed… Kinsey wants me to be a sexy Eskimo with her : )

  1. Guys should not have sexy costumes
  2. JC should not wear a sexy costume
  3. Why can’t I just be a dead dude with a knife in his head… that would be awesome with a capital “SOME”

Oh, also I think I wanna join a Mariachi band and here are my top 5 reasons why being in a Mariachi band is greatness:

  1. Not too many groupies all up on ya, but just enough to make you feel good.
  2. Trumpets are cool, even though I can’t play one
  3. I want to spin on my head with that huge hat on
  4. The tips… where else can you make 5 dollars for a whole set?
  5. I never have to worry about my fans thinking I “sold out” by recording an album… but if given the opportunity I totally would… man, think about it… a rapping Mariachi album… GOLD!!!!

  

WORD!!!!

My thoughts fire out… (no pun intended)… read on

October 23, 2007 at 4:25 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 11 Comments

Yo, yo, yo!!! Not the best day in the world for me yesterday. I am sure you have heard of the fires going on all over Southern California. Well, since I live away from home some things don’t quite hit me as hard as they would if I were there. I knew that San Diego had some fires going on but up to yesterday most of the attention seemed to be on Malibu. That put me at ease because I figured that my home town was under control… boy was I wrong. I was tired yesterday, like most Mondays, so I decided to re-fuel myself up by taking a napizzle (that’s a nap in Snoop language). I woke up and realized I had missed 5 calls from and had about 6 text messages. This is weird because I normally receive about… um… zero calls a day. I noticed my mom had called along with some friends from back in high school who I had not talked to in a while.

I then start taking a look at my text messages. My best friend Mike, who is dating his ex-girlfriend who hates me, was the last one to text me and this is what it read, “I wish I could call you but the news has told everyone to stop calling so people with emergencies can get through… its real bad dude.” At this point I had already ran to the internet and read about the 250,000 people who were chased away from their homes by the fire. I texted back and forth with Mike and he let me know they had been told to leave by the police and that his grandfather’s house was most likely gone. I decide to immediately call my mom and check up on them. It took me about 15 minutes to get through on the phone lines. Each time I dialed it would let me know that “all circuits are busy”. It was so frustrating that I felt like throwing my phone at the wall, but that would suck because my arm is so strong that I would put a hole in the wall and have to fix it… jk.

When I finally got a hold of my mom I could tell she was frustrated mostly because my dad can’t get into town to go to work, which means he is not making money. His work was closed anyways so it wouldn’t help much if he got into town. Luckily my parents have not been evacuated yet. Luckily they don’t live in our old neighborhood. My mom said she could see a fire approaching but as of that moment police had not rolled by telling people to leave. Unfortunately for all my friends back home this was not the case. My entire town had been evacuated. My mom told me she called our old neighbor only to have her answer the phone in tears. She told my mom that they had to leave their home and that their home would most likely be gone by Wednesday if the winds keep up. This means my old house is most likely going to go down too. Crazy huh?

I immediately tried to call everyone back and some friends who I knew were in that area and I was not able to get a hold of any of them. That’s how packed the phone lines are. People are living in the stadium parking lot, in hotels, and in hotels. Even my favorite football player had to evacuate his house. I tried to call him to see if he was ok but he told me to stop stalking him… I don’t think calling a pro athlete 32 times a day is excessive, geez.

Sometimes I do have to get a bit serious so I ask everyone to please put a prayer in for my home town and the rest of the people affected by this fire that just wont stop. Firefighters have to spend their time making sure people are evacuating instead of fighting the fire… the winds are so strong that fighting the fire would not do much.

WORD!!!!

 

rb.jpg

 

Just a little shot I found from around my old neighborhood on yahoo : (

The moron of the weekend award goes to……..

October 22, 2007 at 10:55 am | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Hello!!! We are officially eight days away from Halloween and I have zero idea what I want to be. I know this may be a situation that many other dudes are in, but it is a first for me. Kinsey usually has our costumes set and picked out three months before Halloween. There is the exception once in a while when she wants me to be a sailor and everyone at work makes fun of me so I have to jump off board. This year however, she can’t seem to make up her darn mind. Last night she was super stressed out about it too… why is Halloween such a big day for girls? It’s nuttier than squirrel poop. Hopefully we will come up with something and feel free to give suggestions. Here is the good news: If you decide to be your idea for Halloween I will give you… (Drum roll)… (More drums)… (Monkey screaming)… a hug!!!! Yay!! If you are a dude you may turn your hug in for a handshake and pat on the back… in fact I would prefer that : )

I would like to report that our flag football season is over… good news is that we made the playoffs. Bad news is… playoffs were this past Saturday and there were two things very wrong with that. A) We lost in the first round to the team we beat. B) I didn’t get to play because we had prior commitments with Kidd’s Kids. On the other hand, it was worth missing the game to see the families from last years trip and meet some that are going with us this year. At least meeting with Kidd’s Kids doesn’t take away from my man ego. That’s a good way to look at it… right Big Al? “I guess” (you have to listen to the show to get that one). I do feel better about the loss because I didn’t play. Haha. Is that selfish? No, but I can now say that we would have won if I did play. Now we will never know.

To top off my super exciting weekend which included teaching my dog to sing “Crank Dat”, I went to the fair… by myself. I know I live the life, don’t be jealous. Kinsey wanted to go shopping and I wanted to go eat a freaking corn dog from the fair. Instead of compromising and going to both I decided to be smart. If I went to the fair and then shopping with Kinsey I would miss the afternoon football games and that is a no-no. I thought I had it all figured out. Go to the fair, look like a loser, waste about 30 dollars on the freaking “get the ball in the basket” game, do a bit, go home and watch the game, and off to the studio to edit. My plan would have been flawless if I were not such an idiot. See, my key chain broke so I have my car key, my house keys, and my apartment clicker all separated. Well, I guess I did make sure I had my keys before I left because when I came home I had to sit outside my garage for about 10 minutes before someone let me. No problem… I missed the first five minutes of the game, so what. I park my car and go to my apartment. Reach in my pocket and realize that my stupid butt left my keys at home. It’s all good, I will just call Kinsey… oh, wait my phone happened to be inside my house as well. That’s right, I left my house with only my car key and nothing else. I figured that’s why nobody called me… I didn’t have my phone (I later found out that nobody called me anyways, but it made me feel good for the meanwhile). I decide to drive to the studio to edit my bit since I can’t get in my house. Unfortunately, my house keys are connected to my work keys and my brain forgot to tell me that as I drove 20 minutes away to the office. So the moron of the weekend award goes to… (drummin it up)… (more drums)… Kinsey!!! For going shopping and not being at home when I needed to get in. YAY!!! Haha. I was a close second; I really thought I had it in the bag.

I eventually got back in my house at 8… yup, Kinsey really did shop for that long.

 

 

WORD!!!!!

Who throws quarters at people?

October 19, 2007 at 3:42 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 8 Comments

So I got a little question… Who throws coins at someone? Let me take you back to yesterday. I am taking Dex and Delilah out to do “work”. I live in a neighborhood that could be considered a bit “street”, don’t worry the gayberhood is about a few blocks down the street. Anyway, I am outside, the dogs are smelling the grass and taking their time because they must have noticed the red SUV with the tinted windows and the two guys looking all G’d up leaning up against it. Here is what I can’t help: I can’t help the fact that my girlfriend decided to get a pink leash for Delilah, and I can’t help the fact that she has to wear it or she will run over to the stray cats across the street and get her butt whooped. I am probably about 15 feet away from these guys and to tell you I had a good vibe from them would be a plain out lie, but I stood my ground. I started to hear a little whisper here and there coming from their direction. You know that “I think they are talking about me whisper”? Well that’s what I kept hearing.

Being smart and realizing that if these guys wanted to mess with me, I came to the conclusion that if something would go down… I would lose… bad… really, really bad. Two Chihuahuas and me vs. two guys is not a good match up, even if it is 3 on 2. So I turn around and start walking to the other end of the block. As I turn around I hear one of the guys yell, “that’s what I thought queer eye for the straight guy” (minus the “eye for the straight guy”). That ticked me off, so I turned around, BAD IDEA. He then yelled, “Yeah I was talking to you.” So what did I yell back? “Man, you are so tough talking ish from 30 feet away… I wish I could be just like you.” Lesson number one fellas: unless you are a bad a$$ UFC champion, don’t talk crap back to two guys. The guy then cocked his head to the right giving me the “what in the world are you thinking” look. He then turned his entire body towards me and yelled “WHAT!!!” I decided that I should quit while I’m ahead and decided to just keep walking away because that’s what men who are alive and want to stay that way do.

As I walked away, I hear so stuff start to fall near me. So I turn around and see these idiots throwing quarters at me. So what did I do? I picked up that $1.25 and put it in my pocket. Then I walked over to them and said, “Step up fool before I bust yo face… WHAT!!!” Then I walked away. Ok, none of that happened, but I did pick up the money. Seriously though… who throws quarters at people?

On a good note: Delilah finally started barking. Dex and Delilah tried to tag team fight a cat on our walk. Luckily I had their leashes on because that cat looked mean… it probably belonged to those quarter throwing thugs.

  

WORD!!!!

Boy, my day was full of excitement… not really : )

October 18, 2007 at 3:42 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 6 Comments

WESSSSSSSIDEEEEEE!!! I don’t know where that came from, sometimes geniusness just spills out of my head. By the way, “geniousness” is the made up word of the day today. Take it, digest it, enjoy it, and spit it out without spit.

I just found out yesterday that I am going to embark on a cool mission. It is top secret right now unless you tickle Dino a little too hard, but we will tell you what it is soon enough. I will tell you this: I am scared, nervous, proud, and very excited about this opportunity. Don’t worry… I am not getting a sex change or anything like that. Haha.  

You know what? I feel like such a crappy Eminem fan… it was his birthday yesterday and I did not pay tribute to him as much as I would like to. I did however find out that I look 60% like him. So I made a picture that morphs from my face into his face and you can check that out on my myspace which by the way has a new picture on it. Yup, it was a big day yesterday. New pictures on the myspace (one face one and one with bird poop on my back), responded to some emails, waited about three hours for a meeting, did a little singing to *Nsync with Shanon, and did a little “Take this Job and Shove It” action. That’s right; I bet you are jealous that my day was so jam packed with non-stop action.

Is anyone else watching “Kid Nation”? I feel like I am the only one. You know what though? It’s very refreshing to watch reality TV on primetime without people fighting, hooking up, and making complete idiots of themselves. Kids have this innocence to them that makes the show endearing.

Just wanting to show a lil love to the ladies out there; I wrote this (AKA found it on the internet) and thought it could make the day of a down and out lady. So give this to your woman men. They deserve it.

WOMEN:
Women have strengths that amaze men.
They bear hardships and they carry burdens, but they hold happiness, love and joy.
They smile when they want to scream.
They sing when they want to cry.
They cry when they are happy and laugh when they are nervous.
They fight for what they believe in.
They stand up to injustice.
They don’t take “no” for an answer when they believe there is a better solution.
They go without so their family can have.
They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.
They love unconditionally.
They cry when their children excel and cheer when their friends get awards.
They are happy when they hear about a birth or a wedding.
Their hearts break when a friend dies.
They grieve at the loss of a family member, yet they are strong when they think there is no strength left.
They know that a hug and a kiss can heal a broken heart.
Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors.
They’ll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you to show how much they care about you.
The heart of a woman is what makes the world keep turning.
They bring joy, hope and love.
They have compassion and ideas.
They give moral support to their family and friends.
Women have vital things to say and everything to give.
However, if there is one flaw in women…

IT IS THAT THEY FORGET THEIR WORTH : )

(I think a good one goes for about $100… just kidding) WORD!!!!

I may have met God yesterday….

October 17, 2007 at 3:24 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments

Let’s get today going with a question: Why is it called the mile high club? When you fly you are clearly more than a mile up in the air. Just a little thought. If you are 35 thousand feet in the air shouldn’t we call it the “approximately 7 mile high club”? In your face whoever came up with that name.

I received the weirdest call in my life yesterday. My buddy calls me from San Diego and tells me that one of my old coworkers grandfather had passed away. I did the “oh, man thanks for letting me know I will call him and give him my condolences.” My buddy says “its all good he wanted me to call you and ask you if you wanted some of the stuff Lou got.” I said no way dude, that’s family stuff, he needs to keep it. He goes on to tell me that he doesn’t want to give me personal stuff, just some movies… Who wants movies from an old dude? They are probably black and white. Apparently not, my buddy then tells me they were DVD’s, now I am excited. He starts naming some off and about 10 names in I tell him that I don’t recognize any of the movies. He then drops the bomb… “Oh, I forgot to tell you they are porn’s.” Haha. I started cracking up. Can you imagine finding out that your late grandfather still had the energy at his old age to watch adult movies? I decided to decline the offer:

 

A) Kinsey would kill me if she found any

 B) Those movies don’t do much for me

C) I know a 91 year old man sat and watched them… touched them… watched them again…

 

GROSS!!! So um… yeah, I hope you feel the awkwardness I dealt with. Just to see what Kinsey would have said I told her I took the videos and this was her response: “Yuck… can I borrow 10 dollars for gas so I don’t have to go to the ATM.” Not quite the response I was looking for and I lost 10 dollars in the process because girls you know that borrowing money from your man means getting money from your man.

I also met “God” yesterday… I don’t believe it was the real deal due to the fact that he smelled of alcohol and cigarettes. He was inside a grocery store preachin just loving life and as I walked by he puts his hand on my chest and says, “ahhhhhhh”. So I naturally kicked him… haha, just kidding, I have learned that saying you kicked someone or something at the end of every sentence is funny… unless someone has kicked you. Not so funny then. Anyways, I digest and digress… I decided to bust my recorder out and get his thoughts; he ended up being a pretty cool and funny dude. I got the audio on Kiddlive.com on the K-pod if you wanna give it a listen.

WORD!!!!!

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